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October 01, 2004
« September 30, 2004 | Main | October 04, 2004 »Rumsfeld blames bungled war strategy on faulty 20-sided dice
Secretary of Defense Donald Rumsfeld, a self-proclaimed 14th-level wizard, is blaming the current Iraqi quagmire on the Dungeons and Dragons dice he was using. "Three-headed dragons, trolls, even Medusa herself have fallen under my power with a roll of these dice, but Iraq... ugh..."
In an interview from his parents' basement, Rumsfeld blamed his hamster for chewing the corners off.
Attorney General John Ashcroft quickly distanced himself from this growing controversy. "As soon as I saw the Rumsfelds had a calico cat, I knew there be black magic about."
Posted by Corey Anderson at October 01, 2004 07:12 AM
