My movie year (so far)

Rapsodia satanica (1915 - Italy), directed by Nino Oxilia. Faust with a sex change, as Satan gives a vain old woman another dose of youth. It's an early Italian silent that's very interesting as an objet d'art, less so as a movie. But Ugo Bazzini as Mephisto (above) is one of the first great movie monsters.

Superargo Versus Diabolicus (1966 - Italy/Spain), directed by Nick Nostro. A dull, stupid Goldfinger ripoff only noteworthy for its groovy opening credit sequence, as the wrestling superhero writhes around in a psychedelic haze. But Superargo himself is a lameass-- give me Santo or give me death!

Back Door to Hell (1964), starring Jack Nicholson, directed by Monte Hellman. At the time, the "star" of this low-budget war movie was Jimmie "Honeycomb" Rodgers, but he's easily outshined by young Jack, who isn't even that good yet. It's a war movie with very little war in it (it was very low budget), which is cleverly covered up by Hellman's ever-moving camera and some decent "meaning of life" dialogue between Jack and "Jersey," played by John Hackett.

Posted by Steve Monaco at July 11, 2007 12:31 AM

 

The Monday Movie Quiz #131

I keep turning up the difficulty level on these quizzes, and lots of people still keep saying, "Too easy!" So let's continue with classic Hollywood movies, this one even older than last week's choice.

Three picture clues-- here they are:

Know the film? Then send me an email with the title by late Sunday night. If you got it right, expect to see your name in next week's questionable winner's circle.

Posted by Steve Monaco at July 09, 2007 12:18 AM

 

Last week's Movie Quiz winners

This week's quiz answers also included lots of fond memories for the movie in question, the 1951 science-fiction classic The Day the Earth Stood Still, directed by Robert Wise and starring Michael Rennie in his most memorable role. (Yeah, I know-- name another.) The quintessential "Friendly alien with a warning" story, it also featured what is probably the best-known line of outer-space movie dialogue ever: "Klaatu barada nikto!"

(The character it's spoken to is so beloved even now, he should have been used in Universal's current mega-bomb instead of Steve Carrell, and the movie's title should have been Gort Almighty.)

Although Earth is sometimes thought of as a kids' movie today (at least by people who haven't seen it), it's actually second only to Invasion of the Body Snatchers as Hollywood's best McCarthy-era science fiction. As one quiz winner put it, "The storyline still goes far against the grain of this country's increasingly hysterical fear of The Other, suggesting that America might NOT know everything, let alone be the inevitable center of the universe."

(He also warned, as did others, than a remake is on the way, directed by the auteur behind Hellraiser: Inferno. It's now official: Hollywood would remake its own grandmother to make a buck!)

So congratulations and a regeneration session with Klaatu to the following winners: Vince Tuss, Wayne Palmer, Joe Rosenberg, Dean Carlson, Mark Gisleson, Robert Redwing, Maggie Ripsin, E. Yarber, Bill Hearne, Dack Anderson, Bill Kelly, Ken Harrison, Sadie Gannett, Martha Kiesling, Bill McLaughlin, Nancy Louise Rutherford, and Kevin Musolino (welcome back!). And galactic kudos to Robert DiGiusto, who wins this week's grand prize, The Best of the J. Geils Band! (In case you're not familiar with them, Robert, they made records at the same time as the guy below.)

Posted by Steve Monaco at July 08, 2007 08:07 PM

 

Great Actors Smackdown: Cruise vs Travolta-- The Results

The question was: Who's the greater actor?

This guy?

Or this guy?

And the winner is . . .

With over 80% of the vote, it's now official: John Travolta is a greater thespian than Tom Cruise!

*Crickets*

And John shouldn't be too thrilled about some of the votes he got. "I'd give the prize to Travolta if only because I'd rather watch The Devil's Rain over Risky Business." "I pick Travolta, but don't do this to your loyal fan base ever again." "I think Travolta has more to offer as an actor than TC, but I wouldn't mind if either disappeared. Maybe they could run off together to perform The Odd Couple on an intergalactic cruise ship." And, last and least, "What would you rather have: the pukes or the shits?"

Also, a couple votes were more anti-Cruise missiles than expressions of respect for John ("I could never see myself paying to see a Cruise movie") and some of the votes weren't even for his acting, but for his piloting skills! "Vinnie Barbarino is a helluva pilot and flies the big birds with skill. That means he isn't as dumb as he looks and acts." And one vote hinged at least a little on the fact that Travolta had worked with Debra Winger, the voter's (very good) choice for best actress from the '80s.

Just like last time, mine is the (heh heh) minority report-- I prefer Cruise by just a smidge, and it can be boiled down to one name: Kubrick. Eyes Wide Shut is an almost-great film and Cruise is almost worthy of it until the very end, where he simply can't do what the scene requires (a believable breakdown of shame and remorse). But Travolta couldn't have done it at all, and-- for me-- has no film of his own anywhere near as good. But I admit, it's faint praise and a small distinction.

Finally, there was one assessment I think all the respondents to the last two smackdowns would agree with: "I think Eastwood and Bronson make T&J look pretty crappy."

Thanks to everybody who chimed in, even the vast majority who disagree with me. And join us next time for another Great Actors Smackdown!

(Logo from this fine blog.)

Posted by Steve Monaco at July 05, 2007 12:31 AM

 

World news stories I missed

Here are some important bulletins that I don't remember seeing in my daily on-line news trawl.

Man's "ice cream" was dildo (Sweden)

Joanna Nordlander was walking through the centre of the town, 200 kilometres south-west of Stockholm, when she saw the man on his bicycle. What at first sight appeared to be an ice cream turned out on closer inspection to be a pink dildo.

"He was looking straight at me. When I saw what he had in his mouth I was speechless," she said.

Police sent a patrol to look for the man, but did not find him. Nordlander says that friends of hers have previously seen a man matching his description cycling around the same area of the town wearing nothing but a g-string.

Bulgarian Volleyball Official Dies in Hellish Car Crash (Bulgaria)

The general manager of Bulgaria's volleyball team Levski Sikonko and a 47-year-old woman died in a hellish car crash, which closed the main road Sofia - Varna on Monday.

The other victim is a woman, who was sitting next to the culprit. She also died on spot at the road disaster.

Another four passengers have been immediately taken to a local hospital with heavy injuries throughout their bodies.

Posted by Steve Monaco at July 03, 2007 01:45 AM

 

The Monday Movie Quiz #130

That's it. And if you ever saw this movie when you were young, that single picture clue will be all you'll need. (I know old men who still remember vividly seeing this film for the first time-- in fact, I'm one of them.) So if you know the title, send me an email by late Sunday night. If you're right, expect to see your name in next week's immobile winner's circle.

P.S. There's still a little time left to check in with your thoughts on our current Great Actors Smackdown-- results posted on Wednesday.

Posted by Steve Monaco at July 02, 2007 12:53 AM

 

Last week's Movie Quiz winners

That's the poster that director Milos Forman wanted for The People vs. Larry Flynt, last week's quiz movie in question. Ironically, the poster was censored by the MPAA. (Here's the poster used in the U.S.) Part bio-pic, part free-speech class, it's an odd mix of sanitized smut and legal posing, with a really weird love story thrown in. But then, with Woody Harrelson and Courtney Love playing Larry and Althea Flynt, how could the love not be weird?

There were a few comments made in some emails about the dishonesty of the film, and I think they're valid. As grimy as the movie tries to be in depicting the world of Flynt and Hustler, it doesn't come close to reality. Or as one quiz winner put it, "None of the really disturbing images put out by Hustler are even hinted at, lest the audience question the morality of cheering on racism, violence against women, the lovable Chester the Molester,' and so on."

(The last comment about Chester reminds me of a story from Prisoner of X by longtime Hustler editor Allan MacDonell concerning Larry's born-again phase, which he imposed on the magazine. He insisted the cartoon be changed to Chester the Protector, and MacDonell heard the cartoonist griping to Flynt, "It'll kill the integrity of the strip!")

No one should underestimate the popularity of the late Vincent Schiavelli-- at least one-third of quiz respondents pointed to his face in the first picture clue as their giveaway! (Forman must have been fond of him, too-- he gave him roles in five of his films, including his first American movie.) Unique-looking as Vincent was, as in many Forman movies, he had a lot of strange-looking company, this time including none other than James "Serpent-Head" Carville.

In his review of the film, Christopher Hitchens described Carville as "looking every inch the product of the love scene from Deliverance."

And Forman even gave Larry a part playing the first judge who ever gave him a hard time.

(Another funny story about Larry the Born-Again Christian, this time from Paul Krassner, who was hired to help change the magazine during that period. At a loss for appropriate scratch-and-sniff centerfold ideas with a Christian theme, Krassner suggested one with the Virgin Mary. Larry thought it was a great idea-- "We'll make it smell like tomato juice!")

Lots of winners and no wrong answers (I'll have to do something about that!), so congratulations and a jug of Larry's moonshine to the following winners: Wayne Palmer, Gus Mastrapa, Peter Schilling, Song-Un Lee, Maggie Ripsin, Jack Sparks, Maureen Dunaway, John Middleton, Jim Moomey, Dack Anderson, Vince Tuss, E. Yarber, Kent Hofmeister, Tim McDonough, Thomas Kordonowy, Beth Davis, Jeremy Hodess, Michael Swanlund, Donald Greene, Bill Hearne, Stacy Sarette, Michael Mattson, Dennis Lynch, Mike Knox, and Corey Anderson. And big-- sorry, B.I.G. congratulations to Robert Redwing, for winning this week's grand prize, The Notorious B.I.G.'s Greatest Hits!!

Posted by Steve Monaco at July 01, 2007 08:12 PM

 

The Fredric Wertham Memorial Cover Gallery

All art from the pre-code days of the under-rated ACG comic book Adventures Into the Unknown.

Posted by Steve Monaco at June 29, 2007 03:06 AM

 

My movie year (so far)

The Astronaut Farmer (2006), starring Billy Bob Thornton, written by the Polish brothers. I laughed myself sick at this stupid movie, but I know I was supposed to salute the flag and/or cry a river instead. I never waste more than ten minutes on new American studio swill anymore-- after all these years, I can tell when I'm going to hate something right away-- but I couldn't bring myself to stop watching this, it was that bad. A failed astronaut builds a NASA-quality rocket in his barn, so he can finally take that ride into space. Oh, my sides!

The main character is played with hilarious solemnity by its star (go back to killers, Billy Bob!), and the script is so sub-normal in intelligence it must have been fuelled by a diet of Play-Doh and boogers. Every heartwarming cliche since movies had color is sampled, while outrageous acts of selfishness and idiocy are portrayed as traits to be admired. If you want to have a good time with your friends making fun of a terrible movie, you can't go wrong with this grotesque piece of feel-good.

Billy Bob sez, "Take this, Sling Blade fans!"

The Park Is Mine (1986 - Canada), starring Tommy Lee Jones. If you want a good ridiculous movie to laugh at (and, I suspect, also with), this early cable gem will fill the bill. Billy Bob, er, Tommy Lee is at his best as a loveable-but-crazed vet who wants to teach Americans about compassion by blowing up Central Park. Silly as this cheap little cable pioneer is, it's more fun than the last movie you saw in a theater. Not only that, it also stars Yaphet Kotto when he still sported his own hair.

Posted by Steve Monaco at June 27, 2007 12:32 AM

 

The Monday Movie Quiz #129

All picture clues this week. See if you know the film they're from.

Pretty easy, huh? Then send me an email by late Sunday night with the title. If you're right, expect to bask in the glow of seeing your name in next week's Constitutionally-protected winner's circle.

Posted by Steve Monaco at June 24, 2007 10:35 PM

 

Last week's Movie Quiz winners

Last week's quiz movie in question was the 1945 American version of Agatha Christie's classic who-done-it, And Then There Were None, adapted by veteran screenwriter Dudley Nichols (The Informer, Stagecoach) and directed by the great French director Rene Clair. It's a near-perfect old-fashioned mystery film filled with genuine surprises, and a rare one that continues to entertain with repeated viewings, even after you know all the answers.

It's hard to believe anyone doesn't know the basic, well-known story, based on the song "Ten Little Indians": ten strangers are taken to a mansion at the top of a remote island, only to find that their unknown host plans to kill them, one by one, as punishment for murders they'd committed in their pasts. Every time one of them dies, a set of ten figurines in the dining table loses another piece. (If you want more, there's a decent synopsis at Wikipedia, complete with song lyrics.)

There have been several film versions of the book and play, including a 1949 British TV production under the book's original British title, but this was the first, and there's a freshness to it that makes it the best. Clair's direction is surprisingly modern, telling much of the story with a constantly moving camera. (The "keyhole sequence," where each character is caught spying on another, is a delightful example.) It also has a fine ensemble cast of character actors of the era, and watching them work together-- or, more accurately, against one another-- is one of the great pleasures of the film.

All in all, with the possible exception of Witness for the Prosecution, there's never been a better film version of one of Dame Agatha's works.

It was a tougher quiz this week, so congratulations and a game of billiards with Mr. U.N. Owen to the following winners: Wayne Palmer, Peter Schilling, Dennis Lynch, mick, Mike Kelly, E. Yarber, Bill Hearne, Justin Cullen-Benson, Robert Redwing, Song-Un Lee, Dack Anderson, and Sarah Bergstrom. And suspenseful, special congrats to Mike Knox, who gets this week's grand prize: Nine Inch Nails' "Year Zero" and Art Garfunkel's "Some Enchanted Evening." As prize guru Corey Anderson said, your potential for disappointment will be doubled, Mike!

P.S. In case you've never seen And Then There Were None, a 17-year-old Youtube user is uploading it in 10 minute chunks, once a day. Since the movie is a little under 100 minutes, it will be complete in-- you guessed it-- ten days!

Posted by Steve Monaco at June 24, 2007 10:33 PM

 

Great Actors Smackdown: Cruise vs Travolta

Time again to pronounce judgment, once and for all, on who out-acts whom. So who's the finer thespian?

This guy?

Or this guy?

Unlike last week, I don't have a favorite among these two-- I dislike them equally. I do, however, think one is marginally better than the other. What about you? Get back to me with your thoughts about which one deserves to be known forever more as the greater actor, and I'll reveal the big results in a week or so.

(Before you reply, you might want to check out a couple of their finer, music-based moments: this one with John showing off the stupendous dancing ability that made him a natural for Saturday Night Fever, and this one with Tom busting such fancy moves, you wish he'd been in it, too.)

Posted by Steve Monaco at June 21, 2007 10:19 PM

 

Pat Boone laid bare

From a '90s TNN show where Pat was doing his Will Rogers rope-twirling routine.

(If the above whets your appetite for more celebrity hair humiliation, here's William Shatner getting blindsided by a couple radio clowns.)

Posted by Steve Monaco at June 20, 2007 05:11 PM

 

My movie year (not yet)

Instead of my usual brief mention of films I've seen, this time I'm going to take note of a few that I haven't. But a quick skim of the following has definitely boosted them to the top of my viewing list.

The Oyster Princess (1919 - Germany), directed by Ernst Lubitsch. Considered to be the first real Lubitsch comedy, it looks great, and so does the sparkling print used on the Kino DVD. And how could any film with a face like that not be funny?

Atlantis (1913 - Denmark). Another beautiful-looking silent, made within a year of the sinking of the Titanic, and based on a novel that predicted the disaster before it happened. (Its author, Gerhart Hauptmann, won the Nobel for literature the following year). The version I have also includes the alternate, "tragic" ending made for Russian audiences.

The Frightened Woman (1969 - Italy), music by Stelvio Cipriani. How many movies have you seen that have hooked you with the opening credits? This one got me, thanks to the visuals and the fantastic main theme. You can watch/download it here (12MB/wmv file) and see if it hooks you, too. Then, if you're curious, see the full view of what you've been looking at for 90 seconds.

Posted by Steve Monaco at June 19, 2007 01:18 AM

 

The Monday Movie Quiz #128

This week it's an old-fashioned, gloves-off, harder-than-hell quiz. Three picture clues, as follows:

Also, in case any of the following might be remotely Google-able, a brief sound clue.

If, like me, you love this film, or at least recognize it when you see it, send me an email with the title by late Sunday night. If you're correct, expect to be the last living member in next week's winner's circle.

Posted by Steve Monaco at June 18, 2007 02:32 AM